is sacrificing passion the prize you pay for stability?

my brain has been trying to trick me into this belief for as long as i remember.

…don‘t worry, my loves, it’s getting better and lighter and pretty forked(!) on this week‘s ✨ soul revision ✨

i‘ve often been desperately clinging onto whatever glimpse of excitement life has thrown into my way.

it‘s gotten me into abusive relationships, obsessive addictions, blazing burnouts.

it‘s provided me with amazing opportunities, spontaneous trips to the other side of the world, moments of joy i never thought i‘d be able to experience.

it‘s like i was (and sometimes still am) asking myself:

„is this really it? you sure?!“

…in no deep, philosophical sense whatsoever. i‘m an existentialist. i‘m not looking for a higher meaning in life. i live.

but that’s the „problem“ though, right?

Bukowski‘s headstone reads „don’t try“ - and like him, i don’t try, i just do. not thinking about the consequences, never considering the outcome.

a starved soul with a longing heart and a gluttonous mind in an empty world that’s pretending to be a wondrous playground, is the actual absurdity to exist in.

being able to sit in silence, to admire the nightsky, to breathe in peaceful harmony, my head resting on your chest, your fingers caressing my shoulder, smoking one too many cigarettes… it’s taken me over 30 years to realize how that’s the only melody my body, mind and soul are humming in magical unison. how that’s the only passion i‘m longing for. the only hunger to satisfy.

yet, sometimes i still rebel against this idea by giving in to the temptations of chaos.

not as much as i used to though - by far! - which just proves once again: Borderline Personality Disorder is NOT a death sentence, it’s treatable! you‘re not doomed to suffer!

this week - you’ve assumed correctly - i’ve been battling a lot with my demons again. and won.

❤️‍🔥 hell to the yeah ❤️‍🔥

---

to celebrate - we’re gonna have ourselves our favorite dinner (delivered), a glass of 0.0 beer, our coziest pair of pajamas and a great book.

ahh so glad you asked - of coooourse i have just the perfect recommendation for you!

a real pleasure for our intellectual minds, especially after this gloomy week: so, how about…..

A Lighthearted Utensil Romance!

✨ Forked ✨ by Ruth Cordello

i mean… what can i say… i was intrigued and… i forking loved it?! it’s so forking hilarious and yeah also… kinda hot?!

now, have fun and fork what anybody else might think (:

Is that an earthquake or is your fork happy to see you?

Imagine a WWII super soldier and his unit were trapped in cutlery by the government and the only way they could transform back was by being intimate with a woman . . .

Shortly after moving to a new city, Mercedes buys a set of antique silverware from an estate sale and discovers she has a preference for one particular fork. Is the man who appears when the fork disappears real or a salacious fantasy?

If he is real, is he crazy or could he actually be what he claims to be?

Are you open-minded enough to accept him as he is?

And fall in love with a fork?

Find out how far Mercedes is willing to go to save him and his friends in SPOONED and KNIFED.

Cautionary warning:

The spicy scenes in this novella are purely fictional. Please do not attempt to re-enact any of them at home. I don’t want to hear that my readers FAFO (Forked Around and Found Out). Tines hurt. Let’s keep the forks on the table where they belong.

…and here are some more choices for you ;)

„Everyone I Know Is Dying“ by Emily Slapper

- GAWD I‘M SO SORRY, i just can’t help myself -

S L A P S so hard i accidentally put it in here twice.

yes, if Ms Slapper ever comes across my Substack and reads this… please: feel free to steal my lunch 💀

Until next time, you beautiful souls - stay weird and wonderful!

Julie xx