Sometimes, when I don’t feel like writing a whole thing into my journal or on days my brain feels particularly sluggish and scattered and I’m unable to put my thoughts in order, I open up a page in my “notes on…”-notebook and just start writing down these incoherent thoughts as they’re just flooding my brain and make it all mushy and sad.
These entries are mostly titled… “notes on a day lost to sadness” or “notes on my way to work anxious about today’s meetings” or “notes on this morning spent listening to the birds outside my window.”
I felt like sharing one with you. Maybe I’ll even make it a thing.
Today’s note started completely different but turned into nostalgic memories of Portugal - the littlest things that had the biggest impact.
May 18, 2025 - sunday saudade.
Julie your notes travelled straight from your heart straight to mine, reminding me of the summers of my youth and my grandparents simple life.
I had to look up "saudade" and that is such a wonderful word!
Your happiness from those memories are in the vault and will remain with you, and SUSTAIN you for eternity.
I believe that recalling favorable, yet seemingly unremarkable core memories is hugely important for those of us coping with borderline and similar mental illnesses. There is a void in selfhood, and a fracture in the framework of our psyche. Childhood memories like yours shared here can remind us of who we are at the center of our hearts… we are still that child with the same soul who was fascinated with life as we learned it… before things got in the way. We are still that same person who owns those memories and experienced the feelings they brought to us. It makes us realize that they were not unremarkable at all. The little things become the big things.
I love this idea and I think it has great healing power 🖤
Also, Coming to America was fucking hilarious. I watched it dozens of times in my childhood too 😂