pen cap chew.

- soul revision #4 - for the feels: a poem for the people i love. for the ears: Fink - Looking Too Closely. & for the eyes: “The Nickel Boys” by RaMell Ross.

happy Friday, my loves - i’m glad we’ve made it… how has your week been?
i hope you got to feel some sunshine on your skin in between all the insanity.

let me try to put a smile on your face with some sound and vision (we love us some Bowie references) - grab a cup of coffee or tea, a cozy blanket and sit down for a sec for fuck’s sake… give yourself a few minutes of rest, gurl (: <3

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“The Nickel Boys” by RaMell Ross, 2024 via Pinterest

based on the Pulitzer Prize winning novel by Colson Whitehead, the movie adaption of “The Nickel Boys” by RaMell Ross really took my breath away.

usually, i start to nervously shift and sigh and annoy the shit out of everyone watching a movie with me whenever i feel distracted and bored -
for a movie to keep me on my toes and my eyes glued to the screen, it takes…
a lot…
or a different kind of nerve-wrecking perspective.

“The Nickel Boys” follows two African-American boys, Elwood and Turner, who are sent to an abusive reform school in 1960s Florida. the film is inspired by the Dozier School for Boys, a now-closed Florida reform school notorious for its abusive treatment of students.

i’ve never seen such exquisite storytelling by camera work alone before. breaking the fourth wall by quite literally dragging and crashing you INTO it, your head, your heart, your soul.

please don’t miss out on this. and make sure you’re wearing that certain hoodie you like to snuggle up in.

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“Looking Too Closely” by Fink - illustration via Pinterest

every time, that song comes on, with its staccato acoustic guitar strokes, i breathe in so sharply, i either swallow up hard so i end up in a coughing fit -
or the cold air pierces through my teeth and lungs and freezes my boiling blood for a split second.

listen, watch, love <3

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“Things I Wanted to Say But Never Did” - an art project by Geloy Concepcion

this poem (?!) is for my best friend and boyfriend B., for my brothers M&M, my sister in law P. and my niece L., my best friends who spent the perfect bachelorette weekend with me no matter the outcome of that marriage - for the ones who came into my life when i was at my lowest, especially T., I. and J. - and for V., Y. and D. who have my back every day.

this is written from my perspective, a traumatized girl trapped in a world that punishes differences.

from Kurt Cobain’s journals <3

Marie Kondo would definitely clear me out.
jules, '25

people never believe me when i say that i start every day with only 80% of my capacity - max - even though i’ve been charging the whole night through.
what they don’t get is that my constantly running brain eats away every ounce of energy the second it touches my body.
if i were your iPhone you’d stash me away with an annoyed sigh and get yourself a new one. but, you know, i’m also like that certain hoodie that you love and just can’t get yourself to throw away, even though it already has holes and some weird stains from Satan knows what on it (probably red wine and hair dye and nail polish and acrylic paint and maple syrup from one of your binges). 

so i stay. and sometimes i keep you company, keep you warm and safe.
but mostly i drive you nuts or you soak my fabric with tears and sweat, my screen covered in scratches and the camera lense cracked, showing you some sort of distorted reality. it could be kinda artsy, but really it’s just trash. 
you changed the battery once and bought expensive stain remover, angrily rubbing it into me, sighing, moaning, yelling, crying. 

sometimes i fit right into the palm of your hand - sometimes the light shines through the cracks just right and the pictures turn out so fucking pretty - sometimes you smile snuggling me - sometimes you get a kick out of my weird little habits or when i show you a different way of perceiving the world - 
or solve a problem in the most surprising, unconventional way - it worked, right?! and we had fun, too! 

but at the end - and the start - of the day, i’m still broken. 

- thank you, i love you, stay weird & wonderful -
xx